I've had a lot of interesting thoughts swirl through my head over the past few weeks about good things to blog about, but the past few weeks have also been insanely busy...and I hope to write about those events soon. One of the first blog ideas I had a couple of weeks ago was advice that I would give to my teenage self.
I've always been considered somewhat of a goodie-two-shoes. I was picked on a good bit in high school because I was in gifted and AP classes. I was also a major band nerd...I spent the majority of my school day and after-school hours in the band room or at band/dance team practice. If I wasn't at school or doing something related to school (such as band, homework, Beta Club and National Honor Society volunteer hours), I was at church.
Anyway....the following is a list of things that I would warn my teenage self against.
#1. Don't waste your time with dating. There is little to no point in dating in high school. I had way too many other things to worry about in high school, and I devoted WAY too much time to crushing on or spending time with boys in high school. Very, very few people actually end up spending the rest of their lives with their "high school sweetheart." And I had absolutely no business dating the guys that I dated in high school. As a born-again Christian, I knew better than to date the guys I dated as they were "unequally yoked" to me. However, I was of the mindset that I could save them. I now refer to this as "Missionary Dating." Unfortunately, they did a much better job of bringing me down than I did of pulling them up into a significant relationship with the Lord. I also wasn't spiritually mature enough to handle the relationships that I was in at the time. I didn't have my relationship with Christ as my primary focus as it should have been.
#2. Spend more time in relationship with God. Really, this should be the #1 piece of advice to give to my teenage self. In fact, I still need to give this piece of advice to myself. I played the Christian game really, really well in high school. I had everybody convinced that I was this perfect little Christian girl that was so sold out for Christ....I knew all the right church answers in Sunday school, I went to all the youth events, I was on leadership in my youth group, I went on several really incredible mission trips, a member of the FCA (even though I wasn't really an athlete), part of a weekly Bible study at my school, etc. Don't get me wrong, I knew full well that I had a relationship with the Lord, and my desire to serve and glorify Him was sincere. I just didn't always make Him my #1 priority. I still don't the way I should, but I have grown leaps and bounds since high school. If Christ had really been my main focus and top priority in high school, I never would have dated the guys I dated in high school. I never would have been involved in all the drama that seemed to surround me in high school. I would probably be able to look back on my high school years with many more fond memories.
#3. Focus more on academics. I was definitely considered one of the "smart kids" in school. But I was one of the world's finest procrastinators. I would advise myself to be more passionate about my school work - to put more energy into it. High school is where God called me to be at that time in my life, and I should have worked harder to legitimately do my best. I definitely didn't put my best effort forward in high school, as God called me to do. I did just enough to keep my grades high. Sure, I made higher than average grades, but I honestly don't remember much of anything that I learned in high school.
#4. Appreciate my family more. There is absolutely no way in the world that I could have predicted the things my family would go through in my post-high school days. However, I really wish that I had made my family more of a priority in high school. My brother, Mike, and I fought like cats and dogs throughout my middle school and 9th grade years. He hated the fact that he had to drive me to school, and I wanted so desperately to be on time if not early. He didn't want to be at school period, and because he had to drive me, he had to get up and actually go. I resented the fact that we came so close to being late on a daily basis because of him (and the insane amounts of traffic going into the Greenbrier schools each day). I wish that instead of resenting him, I would have shown more patience and love to him. Then again, he was my annoying big brother, and how was I to know that he would be taken from this earth at such a young age? I wish that I had kept up with Rod's life a little more while he was in Athens. I feel like his years in Athens while I was still at home in middle and high school are a big mystery to me. I also wish that I had been more open and honest with my parents. Not that I really kept a whole lot of information from them, but perhaps if I had been even more open about the boys I liked or the issues I faced with friends, I could have soaked up a bit more of their wisdom and advice.
#5. Practice the flute more. I somehow managed to be in the Wind Ensemble I during my junior and senior years of high school (that was our top concert band - the best of the best). However, I never made it higher than 5th chair. I never had the confidence to play solos. I never made it to District Honor Band or All-State Band. I never memorized any of the marching band pieces. I don't really play that much any more. God gave me the gift of a passion for music. Nothing thrilled me more in high school than being part of our incredible band program - getting to play beautiful pieces of music and being part of the life and energy the band brought to football Friday nights. Unfortunately, I did not utilize my passion for music to its fullest potential.
#6. Don't be so judgmental. Good grief, I was SO judgmental in high school. Don't get me wrong - I had "friends" in a lot of different types of groups in high school. But I was still very judgmental of everyone in high school. There were certain types of people that I didn't want to be associated with because of the way they talked, the music they listened to, the clothes they wore, the people they hung out with, the churches they went to (or didn't go to), etc. I've only really kept in touch with (and stayed good friends with) three people that I considered to be close friends in high school. Sure, there are some people that I still talk to occasionally, and there are some people that I went to high school with that weren't really my friends then but are now. Isn't that so sad?! God is the only real judge. God calls us as Christians to love the unloved. Jesus didn't spend all of his time just associating with Christians and people just like him. He spent time with the people that were looked down upon by society. If I had been a "good Christian"...a real example of Christ, I would have spent more time loving the people that I was so harshly judging.
Now I realize (especially with my educational background in child development) that my high school years were a nearly perfect example of adolescent psychosocial development where peer groups mean everything and I found my identity in being the smarty-pants/band geek/goody-goody. And the things that I have learned and realized about myself since then only come with life experience, formal operational development, and psychosocial identity development. I also realize that very few teenagers ever take the advice they're given because they have to learn for themselves. I don't necessarily regret the things I did in high school, because I certainly would not be who I am today without those experiences. However, life would have been a WHOLE lot easier and less complicated had I taken the advice that I've just given to my teenage self...
 | ||
| Prom, Junior Year - The most controversial group of people ever... |
 | ||
| 2006 Warren Mission Trip to Guadalajara, Mexico |
 |
| Wind Ensemble I Flutes |
No comments:
Post a Comment